With Candlemas/Ground Hog Day approaching and the days lengthening, I am finding myself emerging from my winter rest.
It has become a welcome and needed pattern for me to wind down after Thanksgiving to go deep into the darkness of the Winter Solstice. Then Dave & I love to bring in the light with a Christmas tree sometime between Solstice and Christmas Day, a wonderful reminder of the reemergence of the light to come. Sometimes I feel so lethargic in this deep place that it feels as though I will never have any energy again – it can be quite scary! But I have learned that, as I allow myself to indulge and fully rest in the dark winter days, the more enthusiasm and energy comes back to me as we move into spring. During that time I don’t try to figure things out or work at the issues I face, I just sleep a lot, read, soak in long afternoon baths. Then, as I emerge, I find ideas and answers simply present themselves to me. I find, in fact, that it is I who has changed, not the situation. So I wonder just who is going to emerge each spring, as I always find I have embodied some profound difference when I "awaken". This year for example I am already noticing that I am more peaceful at a deeper level, less anxious, more patient, so that I am willing to wait for situations to unfold and respond in the moment to opportunities without the resistance my mind has often put up in the past.
I have a similar weekly pattern. I usually work at Oregon House over the weekends with groups coming in and out. Then Monday is a busy day dealing with emails and phone calls at home. By Tuesday afternoon I begin to wind down to enjoy a full "Sabbath" on Wednesday – a long day I have completely to myself, as Dave is out that evening at drill (he is a volunteer firefighter and EMT with the Seal Rock Fire Department). Thursday is the one day we have off together – we sometimes have a movie date or lunch out, or relax at home, maybe doing a project or two. If I slip in my commitment to myself or if circumstances will not allow me to have this rhythm, if groups come in or leave mid-week for example, I am thrown off balance and need to find a different way to regroup. The crystal bed has been a great blessing for me – I take a session at the end of my working week, whenever that is, and it helps rebalance me.
It is no wonder to me that most people are stressed and sick, especially at this time of year, because modern life does not encourage such a cycle of work and rest. In fact the commercialization of Christmas sends most folk into a frenzy of activity just when natural rhythms demand the opposite. It’s as though we are so frightened of those dark, deep places, that we have designed a way to distract ourselves and avoid the journey inwards, and the results are so unhealthy.
I am grateful that I have the will and opportunity to go with this natural flow – and need to remind myself of this if I start to complain when we are so busy in the summer that I can’t take a vacation! I can easily forget that the natural rhythm supports activity in summer even though it seems everyone else is relaxing.
Melita